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Feedback is an Essential Part of Success

Posted by mary on 27-1-2011 4:35 pm

Today - the diet got back on track and I realised that one of the elements that was missing in my New Year’s resolutions was that I really need to hear that I am doing ok.   I need the feedback from others.  Feedback is a very valuable part of making change in our life. 

Feedback lets us know we are on the right track, feedback provides a corrective mechanism when we are getting off track. 

Feedback can take many forms; it can be external in origin like that given by teachers and trainers who tell us how we are doing.  It can be internal like the endorphins that make us feel good when we exercise.  It can also be internal though the messages that we process in our heads.

So if you are struggling with your resolutions, try taking a look at what sort of feedback mechanisms you have in place.  Feedback is a very valuable part learning and it is an equally valuable part of making changes in the patterns and habits of our lives.

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Feedback is and Essential Part of Success

Posted by mary on 27-1-2011 4:35 pm

Today - the diet got back on track and I realised that one of the elements that was missing in my New Year’s resolutions was that I really need to hear that I am doing ok.   I need the feedback from others.  Feedback is a very valuable part of making change in our life. 

Feedback lets us know we are on the right track, feedback provides a corrective mechanism when we are getting off track. 

Feedback can take many forms; it can be external in origin like that given by teachers and trainers who tell us how we are doing.  It can be internal like the endorphins that make us feel good when we exercise.  It can also be internal though the messages that we process in our heads.

So if you are struggling with your resolutions, try taking a look at what sort of feedback mechanisms you have in place.  Feedback is a very valuable part learning and it is an equally valuable part of making changes in the patterns and habits of our lives.

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My Diet Came Off the Rails - What Now?

Posted by mary on 26-1-2011 1:28 pm

Today my good eating resolutions went out the window and I thoroughly enjoyed extra coffee, a very large slice of fruit cake and other sugary indulgences.  And then I felt guilty.   I am quite sure that this is familiar to many of you who are struggling to put new habits and patterns into place.

However, now I have a couple of choices to make:

I can give up on my resolution because of one bad day - but that does not really make a lot of sense as I do really want to lose the weight.

I could resign myself to my love of sweet sugary things –but that does not really make sense as it would probably result in gaining weight not losing it.

I can beat myself up because I have had a bad day - but that does not really make sense either as it will not help me achieve my goal.

I can choose to acknowledge to myself that it happened, let it go and move on and just start again. 

Put like that, my choice is obvious.  But it is still my choice.

When we struggle with our goals and resolutions it is important to remember that we are actually making choices about our actions.  So my decision is made- it’s time to move on and pick up where I have left off.  I am choosing to get back to my healthy eating from now – not tomorrow, not next week but right now – so a cup of green tea is called for…..

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Aides to Success

Posted by mary on 25-1-2011 3:40 pm

I was asked today, how I stay focused on my goals so that I don’t get side tracked.  In truth, I do get distracted and old patterns and habits can be very difficult to shake off.  However I do have a number of techniques that I use that I have found really helpful over the years:

1)      Each morning before I get out of bed I remind myself of what it is I am trying to achieve and  imagine how  this is going to fit into the plan for the day.  If I think I may face specific challenges in the course of the day I try to decide my plan of attack to overcome the challenges.  For instance  if I may be in a situation where I could take too many coffees I decide where I am going to switch to green tea or water.

2)      I organise opportunities to tell myself how I am doing.   

3)      If I need to deal with negativity I try to plan opportunities around that to gain positive experiences.

4)      I set things up so that I can get feedback on a regular basis.

5)      I try to have somebody holding me accountable and really encouraging me and it is even better if they do it with me.

6)      I take things in small chunks so that I have small successes to encourage me.

7)      I treat stumbling blocks as learning experiences.

8)      I change the plan if I need to.

9)      At the end of the day I consider what has worked and what has not worked during the day and make a conscious decision to strive for more improvements tomorrow.

We all have things that we do to help and encourage us.  As we approach the end of January, now is a good time to look at those resolutions that we are struggling with and see if we can adapt and change the feedback, to change the messages in our heads to increase our chances of success next month.

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Knowing How Much We Can Actually Achieve

Posted by mary on 24-1-2011 3:25 pm

Monday has rolled around again and so it is again time to set the action plan for this week.  Today, I had the pleasure of listening to a former British Army General and one of the statements that he made is very relevant to New Year’s Resolutions.   He reminded the audience that people often overestimate what they can achieve in the short term, but just as frequently underestimate what they can achieve in the long term.

So as we move into the final week of January, have you “over-estimated” what you thought you could achieve in relation to your resolutions?  If the answer is yes, remember that you can now use this knowledge to learn and build for next month.  You can take what you were actually able to achieve and re-plan with more accuracy for February.

New Year’s resolutions, if they are worth achieving take time and effort and so we need to plan our efforts to achieve them.  So if you have struggled during January, take time this week to revise your plan for how you are going to achieve those goals and put a more refined plan in place for February.  The most important thing is to keep at it – You still have another 11 months to achieve your goal.

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Yes We Can

Posted by mary on 20-1-2011 3:31 pm

It is very easy to forget resolutions as we get caught up in the day to day patterns and routines of our lives. Old patterns and habits hold their own comfort and ease.  However, when we find what really is motivating us to change then the task of making changes becomes easier.

There is no denying that changing patterns and habits and developing new ones can require a lot of effort and commitment.  When we struggle it is important to find tools, techniques and tricks to help us to keep going.

As I mentioned in previous blogs, I struggle with treats to accompany my coffee, particularly if I am tired.  However after discovering that a favourite pair of jeans has gotten just that little bit too tight I found it a lot easier today to just have a coffee – the lid of the treat box remained firmly closed.

Another technique that I have found really useful is to re-read my list of resolutions.  By keeping the resolutions firmly in my consciousness I am more aware of actions that work against my achieving my goals.  I have also found it useful to keep focused on what I want to do rather than what I do not want to do.  In other words I concentrate on reminding myself that I want to eat healthy foods rather then I do not want to each sugary food. 

In the words of others, who are wiser than me, what we focus on expands.  So if you are finding it challenging to work on your New Year’s Resolutions, focus your thoughts on what you are trying to achieve rather than on the difficulties.  When you find yourself thinking about what you are having difficulty within, practise changing those thoughts into ones that are focused on where you are trying to go.   To borrow the election tag line of Obama – Yes We Can.

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Find the Motivator that will work for you

Posted by mary on 19-1-2011 9:38 am

I woke really early this morning and as I lay there I found myself thinking again about my coffee and the biscuits and the scones etc. and what would really motivate me to cut them out so that I can progress more rapidly to my target weight.  Perhaps it was the stillness of the early morning but the answer became obvious.

I am not motivated to remove that coffee and scone as that is a reward for myself.  But I actually need to separate out the use of coffee as a pick me up when I am tired from the reward/treat.  It is perfectly reasonable and balanced to have the occasional coffee and treat.  When this becomes a daily patterns it can become problematic.  So I am going to keep my coffee and scone as an occasional treat.

The challenge now changes to stop getting so tired so that I do not need a caffeine pick me up.   The real trigger for breaking away from healthy eating is tiredness.   If I put better breaks in my work I will be more effective because I know that I perform at my best when I am alert and feel sharp.   Now focusing on keeping sharp and alert is something I am motivated to do .  My challenge has juyst got a whole lot easier.

When we are challenged by our New Year’s Resolutions and we feel that they are an uphill battle it is good to really get our heads round the triggers that may be blocking change and the real motivators that will help us on our way

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Motivation versus Rationality

Posted by mary on 18-1-2011 2:57 pm

As I go through this week I am rapidly coming to realise that discipline alone is not really going to enable me to achieve my diet and exercise goals.  Let me explain.  One of my goals for 2011 is to keep my food intake balanced and to remove the sweet, sugary refined foods from my diet until I lose the 10Kg.  However this is more challenging for me than I like to acknowledge.  I can think of nothing nicer when I want a short break from work than to savour a cup of coffee and some chocolate biscuits, or cake, or a scone hmmmmm…... 

 If I take a green tea then I will have it on its own and so I get the benefit of the tea and none of the calories.  However I am not really motivated to give up my coffee.  My rational self says that I should cut out the coffee but my emotional self really enjoys that coffee break.  In order to cut out the coffee I need discipline but I also need to find my motivation.  If I can find the motivation, I will find it easier to cut it out.  When I rely on self- discipline it is a lot harder work.

The interplay of our motivational and our rational selves can be a big stumbling block in achieving our New Years resolutions, particularly when it comes to diet and exercise.  We all know what we should be doing rationally but we increase our chances of success if we are also fully motivated.  So I am off to figure out what will really motivate me to give up that coffee, cake, scone, biscuit…...   

 

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Make it a Good Week for Your Resolutions

Posted by mary on 17-1-2011 6:28 am

I turned on the radio this morning to be told that it was “Blue Monday”.  I turned the radio off again.  Nobody is going to tell me that a day is going to be bad, especially when I had decided it was going to be a good week.

It is very easy to give negative messages to our brains and then if we start believing them we can quickly move into a negative mind-set.  However it is equally easy to send positive messages to our brain. We just have to choose to do so.  There are lots of things we can do that will help us to stay focused on the positive – We can smile, sit up straight, be kind to others, sing, dance,  all the little things that just  help us to stay feeling good.

So, I am going to start this week with a reminder to myself that my New Year’s Resolutions are good, I am determined to achieve them and I have now got a specific plan for the individual steps that I need to undertake this week to keep them moving.

Last week is gone, and any lack of success is gone too.  The great thing about each new week is that it creates the space to start again.  So, my list for the week is written, I will make sure that each day this week I pencil in some feedback time, both to give and receive.   My resolutions will be worked on. 

Good luck with your resolutions this week, you can succeed.

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Know the Commitment that your Goals Need

Posted by mary on 14-1-2011 12:27 pm

Well another weekend comes around and on a number of occasions this week I have ben involved in conversations about commitment – commitment to partners and other family, commitment to work, commitment to resolutions. 

Many of us can commit to doing tasks and start with great intentions but only over time realise the extent of the commitment that we have actually made.  As we come to the end of the second week of the New Year it is a good time to look at the level of commitment that will actually be required if we are to achieve our goals.

For example if I had decided to run a marathon in June, then it is relatively straight forward to find out the level of training that I need to be doing each week.   To actually ensure that I have the time available to do the training I need to look seriously at all my other commitments and see if I need to make changes to those commitments to ensure that I do not miss my training.  Time is a finite resource and we cannot keep putting in more and more activities ad infinitum.

Alternatively we may discover that there is actually enough time but that we need to be far cleverer with how we organise ourselves.  It may be as simple as only going to the shops once a week, rather than popping out 3 or 4 times a week.

So this weekend, take some time to consider the commitment that will be required if you are to achieve your goals this year.  Then consider the time element of that commitment and look at the rest our your commitments and decide whether you need to off-load some of your commitments or just get more efficient with how you use your time

Enjoy your weekend

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