Pay it Forward
There are a number of phrases that have emerged into common usage in recent years “law of attraction”; “Karma”; “paying it forward”, “givers gain”, “what goes around comes around”. I have found that there have been plenty of times when I have used these phrases almost as platitudes. And then this week a couple of un-related events got me really thinking about these and similar phrases.
In one situation, I was at an event and as I fumbled for my purse a colleague standing next to me said, “don’t worry I’ll get it, sure I’ll catch you again another time”. In a second situation another mum insisted on collecting our daughters because “it was her turn”. In both cases the individuals involved seems to be operating from a place where their giving and receiving was calculated and measured.
I had to admit that while I make every effort to give without expectation of anything in return, in the reverse situation when I am receiving, I tend to always want to make sure that others will not feel that I am taking advantage.
And so this week when I experienced a day when I was on the receiving end of good karma, of wonderful kindnesses I found myself asking just what had I done to deserve it! Those who gave to me gave with an ease that was inclusive and full of kindness and warmth and there was no evidence that a set of scales was in place to balance the giving and receiving.
And so I have concluded that in my giving there are some situations where my real focus is not on the giving but rather on that mental calculation of fairness. In other situations the giving is done without any expectation of payback, the giving just feels right. It is this giving that brings me personally the most joy and happiness.
So, will you join me in a challenge this week to be fully aware of your acts of kindness, both the giving and the receiving? Are you giving with an expectation that you will get it back? Are you holding in your head a total as to whether you feel the giving is fair and balanced? Are you feeling that you must give back because you are receiving more than you believe you deserve?
Take the time too, to be aware of the types of giving that make you feel best. Hoping that you are on the receiving end of much kindness